Harry Potter, the StuckUp Idiot
by Turtle Queen of Freeks
Summary: Snape's diary. Muhaha.
1. Harry Potter, the Future StuckUp Idiot

Chapter 1  
  
Harry Potter, the Future Stuck-Up Idiot  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Yet another day of being made fun of by that stuck-up idiotic popular James Potter. I SWEAR if he ever has a kid, it'll turn out just as stuck-up and idiotic as him. I can see it now, Harry Potter, the future stuck-up idiot. Well, I've got to go test out some new shampoo. Good night.  
  
-Severus Snape  
  
About Ten Years Later  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Oh, my gosh. James Potter finally kicked the bucket! Too bad Lily had to die, too. The Dark Dude killed them. But horror of all horrors, their son, Harry Potter, survived, and according to the Daily Prophet (a.k.a. Daily Lying Piece of Trash), he "killed" the Dark Dude. As in THE Dark Dude. As in the "oh, my gosh, we really shouldn't say his name, so we'll just call him you-know-who like the wimpy little people we are" Dark Dude. Well, at least now I don't have to worry about giving him my letter of resignation. But can you just imagine how that brainless little idiot's kid is going to turn out? He might actually think he matters! As if. Maybe that scar on his head gave him some kind of brain damage. I mean really! The Dark Dude makes a mistake, and they blame a helpless little baby. Fools.  
  
Well, I've got to go try out YET ANOTHER brand of shampoo. Good night.  
  
-Severus Snape 


	2. Harry Potter, the Present Stuckup Idiot

Chapter 2  
  
Harry Potter, Present Stuck-Up Idiot  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Today, there was yet another first day of school with me as the potions teacher. Not defense against the dark arts like I've always wanted, but potions. As if there is anything that would cause the students to hate me even more. Instead of me, there is a stuttering idiot who just happens to be under the Dark Dude's thumb. It's so much fun to be able to read minds. Of course, if I told anybody this, they would just think I was trying to get his job. The fact that I am certainly doesn't help matters much.  
  
Even better, Harry Potter, son of James Potter (Yes, THAT James Potter.), is here. Not HERE here, but at Hogwarts here. He looks too much like James. I just hope his personality isn't the same. Maybe he'll be a halfway intelligent, kind person like Lily was, even if she was a mudblood. Of course, I doubt that Harry will be intelligent or kind person, seeing as he is a famous child. He will undoubtedly think that what he says or thinks or does matters. Thus, it will be up to the Slytherins and I to show him that he doesn't matter. Not in the least. Muhaha.  
  
Well, I've got to make another attempt at shampoo. I would use conditioner, but I really don't want to accidentally turn my hair green again like I did last summer. I'm just lucky it was summer. Anyway, good night.  
  
-Severus Snape  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Oh, what fun. Today was my first day of attempting to teach the aforementioned idiot. I made a fool of him in class, so hopefully I might be able to get it through his thick skull that he doesn't matter. One day I hope that he will finally figure out that he has neverand will never matter. It's a shame that his father never got that through his head.  
  
That mudblood friend of his is really a nuisance. She seems to think that nobody else in the class will answer any questions, so naturally she tries to answer every single one. It's really sickening. He's also befriended the youngest Weasley boy. It's no wonder they both get along. They're both more than a little thick.  
  
And yet another "bane of my life" student has shown up. Neville Longbottom is a fool. He is absolutely the worst at potions that I have seen in my entire teaching career. I'd just think that he was too busy thinking about his dead parents to think, but he appears to be trying. From the looks of things, he will never turn out to be as great a wizard as his parents were. Sad, really.  
  
Well, I'm off to attempt cleaning my hair for the 242nd time this year!!!!!! One of these days, I'm going to get a wig! Well, good night anyway.  
  
-Severus Snape 


End file.
